He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
