How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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