Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Are my feet made of real feet?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
