Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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