You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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