If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
whose ass print is on the piano?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
