I can't breathe out the right side of my face
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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