So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
