Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
