Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
