I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
...so i touched it.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
