Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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