we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize