I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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