if i can run in heels then i can drive
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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