I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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