Duck Duck Cougar?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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