I want to stick my p in your. b.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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