Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize