If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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