i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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