my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
