Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
