so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
