She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
