During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
