I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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