pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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