At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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