How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
