Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
