so that wasnt chicken after all
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
