..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
