have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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