So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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