no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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