His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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