it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
How external is "for external use only"?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
