i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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