We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
