i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
