I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize