my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
