I'm lost and stupid without you.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize