he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
