I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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