Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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