Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
