Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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