This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm at about main and main street
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
