i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
