Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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