I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
