these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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