its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
