was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
porn star boner night. come get it.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
