He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize